Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Internet Radio Premier of ADOPTION DYNAMICS
On October 29, 2009 at 9:30 AM PST/12:30 PM EST we launch the internet radio premier of Adoption Dynamics with a 1/2 hr open forum. CALL-in 347 237-4584 to share thoughts, feelings, and personal experiences from yourself or a loved one. Minosha Gail Humphrey and Pamela Michell offer a look at adoption, behind the curtain. This blog will be complimented by an internet radio program, expanding next to internet television with a view-like panel format. We welcome guest recommendations and reader comments on what you would like to read/hear about. The good, bad, beautiful and the facade... Sometimes re-unification bring joy beyond what words can express, sometimes it is met with rejection, some don't even seek it. And how does it affect spouses and children? Here's a safe place to express yourself and sort it all out. Peace be with you.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Re-connecting with Birth Family
Surrendered for adoption at birth, in a time when there were few options for unmarried teenage mothers, compartmentalization was always my leading coping mechanism. Stigma and secrecy pervaded. As a child, I knew only a few other adopted children and we never discussed it. Seemed disloyal. In adulthood, I realized I was not alone...that many of my thoughts and feelings were common among adoptees.
I was raised in a place where I knew I did not belong by a spectacular couple who had been married nearly a decade when they adopted me and raised me as an only child. Since I can remember, I knew that I was adopted although the details were kept secret. Always I wondered, but couldn't say it.
Missing roots, I was eager to marry and have children of my own. Until then, clearly I was not grounded. My relationship with my adoptive parents grew closer when two beautiful granddaughters were produced. Still, I yearned for my biological family.
As an adult, I signed up for mutual consent registries and tried to find my bio-mom. The limited info I was provided by my adoptive parents was inaccurate...just enough to throw me off track. Not until my early 30's did I learn about the International Soundex Reunion Registry (www.ISRR.net) and re-unite with my bio-mom.
ISRR.net was founded in 1975, as a mutual consent registry, available to assist individuals over 18 years of age in finding their biological connections. Recommended by a colleague whose adopted siblings had successfully used the service, eagerly I filled out the application and mailed it off to Nevada. Two days later, I got the call..."WE THINK WE HAVE A MATCH!"
That was the first week of June and on my birthday, June 13th, MY MOTHER and I met face to face...just days after our first phone conversation.
No words can describe the emotion or how quickly 30+ years of separation melted away.
My mother was not able to birth any other children; she did later adopt two boys. My mother has had the experience of surrendering her only born child and of adopting two children, surrendered by their mother. Her loving, patient insight provides a peaceful calm that was so long absent in my life.
From my copyrighted poetry collection, "Richness of life, as an adoptee...foundationally frames me differently". And not only am I affected, so are my children.
From that early separation, my engrained coping mechanisms have had mixed results. On one hand, like many adoptees, I seem dissassociated, unemotional. Yet this compartmentalization technique has served me well on more than one occassion.
Only by fully integrating all life's experiences, positive and negative, am I learning to fully experience and appreciate life. I seek to help others find this peace. Adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents and extended families...together we can support those surrendered with love and understanding.
In adulthood I've come to know hundreds who have adoptive dynamics in their families. Its not always pretty. This blog opens dialogue in a safe, supportive place. For some found their most joyful dynamic was in childhood, for others, in adulthood. Close your eyes and feel the love. Soon I'll be sharing meditation and pure awareness techniques to increase the peace and joy you feel on a daily basis. Together, we will experience a wonderful journey. YOUR thoughts, feelings, and experiences are welcome here!
I was raised in a place where I knew I did not belong by a spectacular couple who had been married nearly a decade when they adopted me and raised me as an only child. Since I can remember, I knew that I was adopted although the details were kept secret. Always I wondered, but couldn't say it.
Missing roots, I was eager to marry and have children of my own. Until then, clearly I was not grounded. My relationship with my adoptive parents grew closer when two beautiful granddaughters were produced. Still, I yearned for my biological family.
As an adult, I signed up for mutual consent registries and tried to find my bio-mom. The limited info I was provided by my adoptive parents was inaccurate...just enough to throw me off track. Not until my early 30's did I learn about the International Soundex Reunion Registry (www.ISRR.net) and re-unite with my bio-mom.
ISRR.net was founded in 1975, as a mutual consent registry, available to assist individuals over 18 years of age in finding their biological connections. Recommended by a colleague whose adopted siblings had successfully used the service, eagerly I filled out the application and mailed it off to Nevada. Two days later, I got the call..."WE THINK WE HAVE A MATCH!"
That was the first week of June and on my birthday, June 13th, MY MOTHER and I met face to face...just days after our first phone conversation.
No words can describe the emotion or how quickly 30+ years of separation melted away.
My mother was not able to birth any other children; she did later adopt two boys. My mother has had the experience of surrendering her only born child and of adopting two children, surrendered by their mother. Her loving, patient insight provides a peaceful calm that was so long absent in my life.
From my copyrighted poetry collection, "Richness of life, as an adoptee...foundationally frames me differently". And not only am I affected, so are my children.
From that early separation, my engrained coping mechanisms have had mixed results. On one hand, like many adoptees, I seem dissassociated, unemotional. Yet this compartmentalization technique has served me well on more than one occassion.
Only by fully integrating all life's experiences, positive and negative, am I learning to fully experience and appreciate life. I seek to help others find this peace. Adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents and extended families...together we can support those surrendered with love and understanding.
In adulthood I've come to know hundreds who have adoptive dynamics in their families. Its not always pretty. This blog opens dialogue in a safe, supportive place. For some found their most joyful dynamic was in childhood, for others, in adulthood. Close your eyes and feel the love. Soon I'll be sharing meditation and pure awareness techniques to increase the peace and joy you feel on a daily basis. Together, we will experience a wonderful journey. YOUR thoughts, feelings, and experiences are welcome here!
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