You can call me "Pammie ROBIN"...its my name!

Over the past few months, I've been trading sessions with holistic practitioners using a variety of processes and techniques to resolve trauma (in contrast to traditional counseling therapy). Tho we may not recognize within ourselves, early childhood traumas affect adult decision-making and stress responses. I'm delighted to make recommendations to practitioners who can help my readers resolve this lingering negative emotional energy.

Continuing to heal myself along this journey, in the past week consulting with several practitioners I deeply respect, recognize that for me, part of the "lost" feeling I held most of my life, was the detachment from the infant I was coming into this world.

Surrendered at birth for adoption, the couple that raised me told me that I was adopted and beyond that didn't want to discuss it. They did celebrate each year, that date as a second birthday of sorts. I was told they had no info about my biological family, only that I was born in Detroit and not given a name because I was given away. Just over 3 months later they adopted me and legally established my name as Pamela Sue. The "Sue" part, I was told, after my Dad's hunting dog. My adoptive family seemed to get a kick out of that.

Never really resonated with "Pamela", preferred Pam. Only my Grandmother and a couple of dear friends called me "Pammie". When finally I was re-united with my biological family in my thirties, Mom told me that she chose to name me "Robin Beth" at birth. I wished I had that name...still changing my name seemed "disrespectful" to my adoptive family, and confusing to my children and in the workplace.

Getting clarity in my life's mission, I'm recognizing there is no better time to integrate "Robin". In full honor of my deceased (adoptive) Father, my maiden name "Michell" is an absolute given.

Adoptive parents frequently change their child's name to symbolically make the child their own...with a fresh start. Even when we genuinely love and respect our adoptive families, frequently we feel detached on some levels. For me, this detachment (and trauma) began when my entire identity was "invalidated". And reinforced every time I heard about Dad's dog Susie.

Recognizing I'll have to jump through some legal processes, I understand I can begin introducing myself, or asking to be called "Robin" or any other name. Because I'm building a following as a domestic violence advocate and author, the sooner I make this distinction, the better for branding purposes...definately before the next print run on business cards!

Over the weekend, "Pamela Robin" began integration...not feeling "Pamela" was just about ready to reclaim "Robin Beth", retaining my legal maiden name. A little voice inside is saying "Pammie Robin" and its getting louder. At last, she's found herself. May I introduce... Pammie Robin Michell. She loves you very much. Stay blessed.

Are YOU lost emotionally? Peace is within.

Occupied with a flurry of blessings in 2010, Adoption Dynamics readers and others resonating with family trauma have a peaceful new resource available. Expanded exercises using Pure Awareness techniques guide you to the peaceful place within where YOU have the answers...even how to check what is congruent with your essential nature. Free audio download of the first guided imagery exercise is available @ www.survivoronamission.org on the Pure Awareness tab.

Previous to learning Pure Awareness techniques, I wasn't successful in meditation. This is so simple, and even others I've worked with who shared my challenge arriving and holding this peaceful state now enjoy (even plan for) this Greater Awareness Place...what Tom Stone calls "the GAP". I wanted you to experience this for yourself and recommend it to others to sample for free. For those who want more, in both audio and text format, for a $9.95 download grab "the GAP" and "the AGAPE" exercises. The text format can be used as a script, so you can read it to guide a partner or group to Pure Awareness.

Until learning these techniques, I was emotionally lost. I didn't know why. During my lifetime, I've spoken with thousands of people who were adopted or ladies who surrendered children for adoption. With no official count, clearly more than half admit they are not at peace emotionally. How about you? Are you lost...or hiding? Your thoughts matter.

Enjoy this 10 minute guided imagery exercise and let me know how YOU feel. Stay blissed. I love you.

Reflection, Anticipation, and Meditation

I'm not too proud to admit that prior to training by Tom Stone @ Great Life Technologies(GLT)as a Trauma Resolution Specialist/Bliss Coach, I presented as one victimized by adoption. My adoptive Father was ideal in every way imaginable, a perfect role model as a husband, father, and later...grandfather. With his wife as the light of his life, perhaps my expectations of what to expect from a mate were more idealistic than realistic...at least until I clean up my inner landscape.

While invitro, Tom explains, we enjoy FIVE STAR WOMB SERVICE. All our needs are met instantaneously. From this, we are conditioned to expect our wants and needs will be similarly met. Tho our heads/brains are disproportionally larger than the trunk of our bodies as infants, the spindle cells that help us process emotional energy are few at birth...increasing as we mature. In a pre-verbal state, with limited ability to process emotionally, we begin to protect ourselves from feelings of separation and overwhelm. For many who are adopted, while we love and appreciate our adoptive families, a part of us is lost. Here's why. Five Star Womb Service ended abruptly, against all our infantile expectations. We expected our "womb host" to continue loving and providing for us. Our "other mother", perhaps the only mother we ever knew...stepped in to feed, clothe, house and care for us. No matter how genuinely she may love us, bridging that gap between an adoptive mother and her children is challenging.

As adults, fortified with mature spindle cells, we may come to understand the sense of emotional overwhelm...or of feeling "lost" as a child. In resolving the emotional energy we stored in our bodies, we can bridge that separation. Adoptive Moms and families...please understand that often NOBODY DID ANYTHING WRONG. All of us are hurt more by holding circumstances in judgement.

Improving somewhat in recent years, adoptive parents don't get the comprehensive training or preparation to best respond to the needs of an adopted child. Make no mistake, every adopted child IS A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD. In this information age, adoptive parents can participate in live or on-line support groups. Their adopted children having contact with other adoptees, feel less separate from society as a whole.

Adoptive families and adoptees benefit in their retreat to a blissful, meditative state where there is no lack. Many find it challenging to find this place. Working with GLT, I learned to navigate to this place and am eager to share it with my readers. I've just recorded guided-imagery exercises that serve as your tour guide in finding your bliss. Very shortly the IT will be completed making these exercises available in audio and in text download at www.survivoronamission.org under trauma resolution. The first exercise is free in audio format. For those who want more, both exercises are provided in audio and print format for $9.95, allowing you to read/guide others to find their peace within (regardless of their situation).

This meditative state Tom calls "THE GAP" serves as the underpinning for trauma resolution or bliss coaching. While it is from this place trained practitioners guide the resolution of past trauma, everyone benefits simply by finding this blissful place within themselves.

It's a new decade. This discovery is my gift to YOU; in it YOU will find YOUR PERFECTION. What better time to get out of your own way. Are YOU ZEN in 2010? Your guest pass, to guided bliss is on the way...the wonder of the universe awaits your discovery! YOU are perfect! YOU are loved and YOU are loveable!!! I want to hear from YOU. What information or services may I provide that will be valuable to YOU? It is ALL ABOUT YOU! "Blissings".

SURVIVE to THRIVE, Shift to Bliss

Among adoptees and surrendering mothers and adoptive families, the subject of adoption is emotional. Frequently to protect ourselves from emotional overwhelm, we shield ourselves...we stop the hurting in many ways. We cut ourselves off emotionally, develop unhealthy behaviors, and are challenged in relationships.

NONE OF US DID ANYTHING WRONG. Until awakened by a secondary trauma, I associated PTS with mental illness...and refused even to be evaluated. That diagnosis, I thought, would be followed by years of therapy and perscription drugs. Instead, I spent my childhood and most of my adult life perceiving myself as a victim. My ego consistently identified accordingly. Life wasn't fair. My adoptive parents were a charming couple who provided well for me; my Dad a prince who always put me #2 (his wife first, himself third).

Although blessed to be re-united with my biological Mom 18 years ago, implications of the emotional reaction I experienced as an infant continued to haunt me. Many other adoptees and surrendering mothers I've spoken with over the years share this dis-connect.

In November 2009, I was privileged to be in the first group of practitioners trained by Tom Stone of Great Life Technologies as a Trauma Resolution Specialist. The training included an immersion, where practitioners cleared all past traumas enabling us to serve clients without being triggered by their issues. In honoring and allowing the entire emotional reaction of being "abandoned" by my Mother without shielding myself, I made a liberating discovery. Our ego is no more our friend than our self-limiting beliefs. The stories we tell ourselves, and others, do not serve us. Releasing the energy attached to our "stories" allows appropriate response to current and future stress or trauma...rather than reacting based on unmet expectation in a previous circumstance.

This discovery was made in a blissful place Tom Stone calls "PURE AWARENESS". Pure Awareness is the underpinning of Trauma Resolution Coaching...guiding the shift from Survive to Thrive. For everyone else, practicing these same techniques improve relationships, concentration, and response to stress or dysfunction. Once guided to "Pure Awareness", participants delight in coming back to this place where they further develop application of techniques and increase their joy.

Although there are less than 100 practitioners trained in these leading-edge techniques, we are honored to bring these techniques to those haunted by traumatic stress (which may have occurred in childhood or adulthood). Members of fractured families, re-unified families and blended families...application of these simple techniques permanently resolves stored emotional energy that keeps us from being all we can be. BE TRAUMA FREE WITHOUT THERAPY. Its quick, effective and permanent.

As the number of trained practitioner/facilitators increases, you may find Trauma Resolution Specialists (trained in Human Software Engineering) in your area...and we are building our capacity to serve telephonically. Personally serving the Los Angeles area, fellow practitioners are available by referral; Great Life Technologies is located in Carlsbad, CA. www.greatlifetechnologies.com

Readers feedback and comments always welcome, watch for new features, enhancements, and guest-bloggers bringing greater value in 2010. Stay blessed, I LUV YOU ALL!

Trauma #1-Separation Anxiety

Frequently people who were adopted experience separation anxiety, for many this is masked to some degree. Until a subsequent trauma, I hadn't recognized the implications in my own life.

Misperceptions about Post Traumatic Stress keep many with early childhood trauma from learning more. We rely on our coping mechanisms. We may associate PTS with mental illness and hold on to fears that such a diagnosis would mean years of drugs and/or therapy. I found the answer in human software engineering, an emerging field pioneered by Tom Stone at Great Life Technologies.

The application of this technology goes far beyond post traumatic stress surrounding childhood trauma. It is not practitioner-dependent. Within a few to several sessions, we train YOU to resolve YOUR issues. We guide YOU in clearing past issues and provide YOU with tools and techniques to take present or future hurdles and traumas in stride.

As Trauma Resolution Specialists, we must first get the junk out of our trunk to effectively guide YOU without being triggered by your experiences. This is NOT therapy. Our clients don't pay to tell their story...in fact, its just the opposite. We guide our clients to recognize they are not their story. Each of YOU is much, much more than the sum of your experiences!

After our emersion, TRS participate in webinars for 5-6 months to become certified with Great Life Technologies. We are, however, well-prepared to guide those traumatized to a peaceful, blissful place. By referral, we'll get YOU connected to a TRS near you, or a more advanced practitioner who can guide you telephonically.

Application of Great Life Technologies is proven successful with combat stress, domestic violence, and countless other stressors resulting from life-threatening and non life-threatening experiences. Visit www.greatlifetechnologies.com for additional information. In Southern California, I/we can serve individuals or groups in moving towards inner peace, free of traumatic stress. This is the BLISS YOU DESERVE!

Adoptees...a hidden demographic

Ironic how tv portrays family life in America. As a child, I remember watching Leave It to Beaver...in contrast to the less traditional elements of Family Affair in the 60s. In the 70's, family dysfunction began seeping its way into television programming. Crime dramas and now reality-based shows illuminate the darker side of our societal models.

For decades, we've been fascinated and entertained watching dynamics of communication in families, workplaces and communities. As relationships and communication evolved, one very obscure group has been left behind...seldom addressed, almost completely un-noticed.

We're quiet. We don't stand out and frequently don't stand up. As much as we are vastly different, our similarities are staggering. And our extended family, community, and co-workers are affected...the later two, typically, without a clue. Hours after my birth, I became one of this group. I am an adoptee. Welcome to my lemonade stand.

Adoptees think differently; we have a kink in our chain of evolution. Absent the foundational roots, frequently traumatized by separation as an infant or young child, our coping and communication skills differ dramatically from our peers. Often we've spent a lifetime feeling separate or that we didn't belong...most likely, never sharing these thoughts or feelings. The truth be told, we feel guilty, sometimes ungrateful, for even having these thoughts.

My first read of The Celestine Prophecy was bittersweet...as I began to understand so many missing connections. One of the book's premises is that whatever circumstances or issues aren't resolved in one generation serve as an obstacle for the generation or generations that follow. Before re-uniting with my birth family, I couldn't even begin to understand the challenges I was destined to face...not to mention the baggage that would be left for my children or my children's children to clean up, if I didn't get it right.

Understandably, adoptive families seek to draw adopted children into their new families...sometimes almost competitively, seeking to gain the loyalty of the new member. The adopted child may feel they were abandoned or unwanted by his or her birth family. Most often, it is more complicated. Frequently at the time, the birth mother and her family believed adoption was the best option for mother and child.

Not all adoptive families should have children. They should anticipate challenges...with abandonment issues, rejection, forming attachments and relationships. Conditioned to accept being treated as less desirable or lovable than our peers, our expectations are not the same. Eager to please, to fit in, we are quiet. We don't make waves. Often, as we mature, we accept emotional or physical abuse in intimate relationships.

So, how do we break the cycle? First, we must recognize it. Once we are aware, we can begin to shift our thoughts and feelings. Usually, with people we don't know well, we have no idea whether or not they were adopted. Still, most of us do know someone who is adopted or who has adopted a child. YOUR awareness and support...your referral...can provide immense relief.

To honor and validate their viewpoints and experiences, ADOPTION DYNAMICS provides a forum for discussion and techniques for bridging the gaps. With a blog, bi-monthly podcasts, and live discussion forums, we open the dialogue. Now human software engineering, developed by Great Life Technologies (www.greatlifetechnologies.com) for treatment of post traumatic stress, allows adoptees and their next generations to more closely mirror the evolution and progress of our peers.

Organic, refreshing, and naturally sweet, this lemonade quenches the thirst of adoptees and others whose safety or protection has been seriously violated.

Stay tuned...an "Intervention" style reality show may soon illustrate dysfunction and treatment, post-trauma. Your referrals, to bring our live discussion forums to community groups, are sincerely appreciated and your comments, always welcome.

Birth family reunions and resources

Upon turning 21, I began to search for my birth mother. Although mutual consent registries were beginning to operate, before the internet I wasn't aware of the largest free service in the world, the International Soundex Reunion Registry which began in 1975. I signed up for the services I knew about, then began to explore other paths hoping one would lead me to my birth mother and birth family. Private investigators were expensive and offered no guarantees. My perception of some firms I spoke with was ... they are exploiting lost souls. Back then I was told that with closed adoptions, information could be bought...for a price. Then in the 80's, a co-worker who had adopted siblings told me about the International Soundex Reunion Registry. I hadn't tried that one, and hearing her sister's success, I was optimistic. I requested their questionnaire, completed it promptly and mailed it back to Nevada. Just two days later, I received the phone call...WE have a match!!!

Indeed that was the first day of the rest and best of my life! There are other sites as well. For those seeking to re-unite, be sure to keep the registry sites updated with your current contact information. www.ISRR.com is the most comprehensive...as a mutual consent registry, there is no fear of rejection.

Other sites include www.adoption.com and www.iwasadopted.com In an imperfect world, not all birthmothers register to re-unite with their children. Private investigators can assist. They will get information for you, however, having contact information in hand doesn't necessarily mean your contact will be welcomed.

Among the many private investigation firms that provide searches are www.kinsolving.com and www.omnitrace.com Fees vary, typically between $1300-$1800 for contact info to birth mother, bio-siblings or next of kin.

Infants and children are surrendered for many reasons. Frequently adoptees imagine we were given away because we were not wanted, not loved, or there was something lacking inside ourselves. Often we are haunted by these thoughts and allow them to color our perceptions of the world around us as well as our own place in relationships.

Sometimes, people who adopt seek to fill a void in their lives. My own birth mother adopted two children herself, unable to birth another child. Knowing and loving her as an adult, my perception has blossomed to a richer and fuller understanding.

Each person's experience and point of view is valid and honored. Presently this blog is supplemented with a podcast on Adoption Dynamics, recorded alternate Thursdays @ 9:30 AM Pacific time. On November 12th and 26th, 2009, we invite guests to call 347 237-4584 with their comments. My co-host, Minoshia Gail Humphrey, and I are both adopted and have very different experiences and attitudes. We want to hear YOURS! YOUR questions, feelings and thoughts are always welcome on this post as well. Adoptees, adoptive and birth families...we want to hear from you. We love you all.